How to Replace Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts or unhelpful thoughts are often automatic, but they don’t have to take control of you. With a few pointers, you can learn to tolerate your inner critic without getting bogged down by it.
Negative thoughts can contribute to problems such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. The key to changing your negative thoughts is to understand how you think now, then use strategies to change these thoughts or make them have less of an effect.
You need to become aware of how your thoughts are impacting your emotions and behaviours. Observe your thoughts. Ask yourself if this thought is helpful? What purpose is the thought serving you? How does the thought make you feel?
Here are some ways you can stop negative thoughts and get control of your thinking
Combat Negative Thoughts with Mindfulness
Mindfulness has its roots in meditation. It is the practice of detaching yourself from your thoughts and emotions and viewing them as an outside observer. Practicing mindfulness can help you become more conscious of your thoughts and build greater self-awareness.
Mindfulness sets out to change your relationship to your thoughts. Try viewing your thoughts and feelings as objects floating past you that you can stop and observe or let pass you by.
Avoid Thought Stopping
Thought stopping is the opposite of mindfulness. It is the act of being on the lookout for negative thoughts and insisting that they be eliminated.
The problem with thought stopping is that the more you try to stop your negative thoughts, the more they will surface. This is known as thought rebounding. Mindfulness is preferable because it gives less weight to your thoughts and reduces the impact they have on you.
Experts believe that the thought rebounding that takes place after trying to stop negative thoughts is much more damaging. Psychologists generally recommend finding ways to deal with the negative thoughts more directly.
Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.
We don't overcome negative thought patterns, we replace them. You have to think in different terms and see how it can turn positive.
For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.”
Surround yourself with positive people.
I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.
Be Your Own Best Friend
We are mean to ourselves. Nearly 90% of self-talk is negative. Three steps:
1. Release it. Let it out to help process, not to dwell. Three minutes, then the pity party is over.
2. Track it. Identify when you have negative thoughts. Awareness will enable reframing.
3. Reframe it. Once you know why you are being mean, consider what your best friend would say to you. Then tell yourself what you need to hear.
Share your feelings with someone close to you.
Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. Talking about it with someone else helps you keep those thoughts in perspective. You don’t have to feel like you can’t talk to somebody, when talking may be is what’s needed to control how your feeling.
Use a Diary to Track Negative Thoughts
Thought diaries, also called thought records, can be used as part of any process to change negative thinking. Thought diaries help you identify negative thinking styles and gain a better understanding of how your thoughts cause your emotional reactions.
A thought diary entry might break down the thought process of a person on a date, and the emotional and physical reactions that result from negative thinking patterns. By the end of the thought analysis, you can replace irrational thoughts about rejection with more helpful and positive ways of thinking.
Establish New Habits
Rather than thinking of it in terms of "overcoming" negative thought patterns, think of it in terms of establishing new habits. You do that by directing your attention to subjects where there's nothing to overcome, subjects that you already feel good about, and therefore think positively about. That could be your pet, your painted toe nails, being outside, the beach... Start with something easy.
Stop Watching the News
Research has shown just three minutes of negative news will significantly increase your chances of a negative experience over the course of the day. Research has also shown that positive mindset increases productivity and satisfaction while reducing errors rates. Mindset is a choice, but not always an easy one. Look to eliminate negative influences and stop watching morning news.
Focus on Gratitude
Gratitude is underrated by most but is essential to a happy life. Life doesn't get easier, but we become stronger as we reframe difficulties by recognizing all of the little good things going on around us. Keep a Good List and refer to it daily. Also, focus on what you really want and be very specific. A focused, positive mind will attract what it is seeking over time.
Use Affirmations
When you wake up, open your eyes and feel gratitude for the new day. Write down daily affirmations: "I love the people I work with," "I make positive contributions every day," or "I am open to inspired thoughts." If a negative thought creeps in, think of a success you've had and the feeling that went with it. Positive thinking is a daily task, but worth it.
Eat well. Sleep well. Be active.
The nicer you are to your body, the easier it is to feel more positive about yourself. Getting enough sleep, eating the correct foods and doing some exercise, is something that is going to make you look as good on the outside as you feel on the inside.
Meditate or do yoga.
One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing, which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.
Bottom Line
We all get negative thoughts every day of the week and many times a day, we don’t have to let those thoughts control us and make us un happy. Follow the tips in this blog and they will help you overcome or change how you deal with negative thoughts.
With practice, you’ll learn to recognise and challenge your unhelpful negative thoughts – and replace them with more helpful positive ones. Although you’re bound to have negative thoughts, they don’t have to control you, or how you feel. You’re in control of how you react to them – and you can change them. And when you change your thoughts, you change your reality.
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